So, you read about the theory of stages 1, 2 and 3...., but how do you connect the theory with the practice? Here are some tips:

Stage 1: Self-Regulation and Interest in the World

• Discovering your Child's Sensory and Motor Profile
  • Entering your child's world involves more than simply intuiting what gives your child pleasure; it's a systematic process. You must first learn how your child's nervous system works, by understanding his or her unique style of hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, and moving. To help your child feel comfortable in the world you must first carefully observe which sensations help your child become calm and regulated, which ones overwhelm him or her, and which don't pull him or her in enough. - Source: Greenspan & Wieder (2006). Engaging Autism. Chapter 6.
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Stage 2: Engagement & Falling in Love

• Following your child's lead, regardless of where his or her interest lies
  • Why? Because your child's interests are the window to his or her emotional and intellectual life! Through observing your child's interests and natural desires, you will understand of what he or she finds enjoyable, what motivates her. Your child has real feelings, real desires, and real wishes. Your child will feel closer to you if he or she can see that you can respect and participate in what interests him or her.
  • But what if my child's interests are unusual or peculiar or are not things we want to encourage? This should not be a concern at this point, because the only way you can engage your child at the beginning is by joining his or her interests, regardless of how unusual they are.  Assume that whatever your child is doing is bringing him or her some pleasure, and then see if you can deepen and widen that pleasure and make it part of a human relationship.
  • Following your child's lead does not limit you to doing only what your child does! After joining him on his or her interests, after doing the same thing next to him or her,and entering into his or her world, you can entice him or her into an interaction. The key to expanding your child's ability to be secure, calm, and regulated in the shared world is to meet him or her first at the level of his or her ability, and then gradually expand out from that base of security. Anytime your child becomes withdrawn or overexcited and irritable, you need to go back to the baseline and expand more slowly, and have FUN together!
  • You will know when your child is fully engaged with you when you see the gleam in his eyes!
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Stage 3: Opening and ClosingCircles of Communication

• Encouraging two-way communication
  • Communication builds on intentionality, the goal is to help your child take the initiative. Your child's interest and purpose is the first step in meaningful communication.
  • Your child will OPEN the circle of communication by his own purpose or intention, by doing what he wants to do
  • You can then build on this intentionby helping your child achieve his goal.
  • Your child will CLOSE the circle of communication when he takes advantage of what you offered and gestures back to you
  • Getting to a continous back-and-forth communication is the goal of this stage
    • Read more tips and start practicing...